


Youth is Wasted on the Preternaturally Young

by Peggystormborn



Series: Every Time...A Karamel Anthology [28]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: And they've changed the future a lot, Distant future, F/M, Karamel spent 10 years in the future and came back with 4 kids, Then they had thousands of descendants who protect the multiverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-01-25 01:16:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21347872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peggystormborn/pseuds/Peggystormborn
Summary: It's Mon-El's 500th Name Day, and the whole (huge) family gathers to celebrate. But things get kind of wacky when an old nemesis shows up to give our heroes a VERY unusual gift: a chance to be carefree teenagers again, reunited with all their old friends.Everyone wishes they could relive their youth, right?
Relationships: Barry Allen & Kara Danvers & Oliver Queen, Kara Danvers & Mon-El, Kara Danvers/Mon-El
Series: Every Time...A Karamel Anthology [28]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1092399
Comments: 22
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I'm sorry I've been so long getting this out. I kind of needed a break and my muse and I kinda just weren't on speaking terms for a while. But I finally got it together! 
> 
> Now, just a note: I'm mostly a stream of consciousness writer, but I usually start out with a bare bones outline. This time I didn't. I kind of just decided to plunk all these idiots in the same place and see what the hell happens!
> 
> It was a fun experiment, and hopefully it turned out okay. Hope you like it!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Name Day to our favorite Daxamite!
> 
> Hopefully no uninvited guests show up and mess up your life!
> 
> That would be...just terrible. 
> 
> *Author smirks giddily...*
> 
> Note: you don't need to have read my other works to enjoy this. But know that Kara and Mon spent 10 years in the future where they had 4 kids, then came back to the present. This takes place hundreds of years later, after their thousands of descendants saved the world from the extinction event they mentioned on the show.

"He's _sleeping_, honey," Kara shoos her eldest daughter back downstairs, away from their bedroom where the patriarch of their family is enjoying a well-deserved late morning in bed.

Allie, reluctantly trudging back down to the first floor with a heavily laden tray of pancakes, fruit, sausage, coffee, and carefully poached eggs, grumbles and rolls her eyes.

"It's nearly ten a.m. I'm sure he'll be awake any minute," she argues, blond hair bouncing with each step. "And the food is getting cold!"

"Well, that's easy enough to fix." Kara attempts to grab the egg plate off the top of the pile, pointing her laser eyes at the gelatinous white blobs.

"No! You'll cook the yolks solid!" Allie argues, snatching the dish back as she transfers the tray to her other hand. "I got them just right!"

"I'm sure you did, sweetie," Mon-El says, appearing out of nowhere at the top of the stairs in a tee shirt and boxers. He strolls down, smiling as he rubs his eyes, and relieves his eldest daughter of her load. Not that it's remotely heavy, for any of them.

Kara sighs heavily. "One of these days, maybe in the _next_ five hundred years, _someone_ in this family will successfully deliver breakfast in bed, without the intended recipient ruining it."

"Not today, I guess." He shrugs amiably, taking a sip of his coffee. Allie grumbles a little but protests no further. Instead, she stands on her tiptoes to kiss her father on the cheek.

"Happy Name Day, Daddy," she says softly.

"Thanks, pumpkin." He puts the coffee back down and wraps one arm around her for a quick hug. "This looks great!"

"Better than that mess we brought you on Father's Day back when we were in gradeschool."

"Hey, that may not have been pretty but it tasted just fine," he assures her, as she gives him a skeptical side-eye. "What?" he balks. "I happen to _like_ a little eggshell-crunch in my omelet."

His daughter rolls her eyes as they proceed into the kitchen. The other three siblings are already there, scarfing down donuts and bagels, while Xander fries up another pan of eggs. Scrambled this time, since poaching is a bit impractical for this crowd.

And a crowd it is, as some of the grandchildren and great grandchildren have packed in as well, and a handful of folks representing the younger generations, too. Allie's sister, Xander's twin Zora, bounces a baby on her lap, her own twelve times great granddaughter, Nora.

The assemblage cheers at the arrival of their progenitor, whose eyes go wide, realizing this is the second moment in his life that he's found himself standing amongst a crowd while in his underwear.

"One sec, everyone…" he ekes out before taking one literal second to put the tray down on the counter and speed upstairs to don a proper shirt and pants. Upon his return, he enjoys a round of hugs and well wishes from his many progeny, thankful he and Kara built their house large enough to accommodate gatherings such as these.

Shoveling down his eggs (which he must admit are a vast improvement over the aforementioned Father's Day disaster), he moseys over to the dining room table, where he notices a certain non-blood-related family member sitting quietly, clicking through his holo-tab.

"Hey! Who let the riffraff in here?" Mon-El dad-jokes, as the speedster looks up with a jovial smile on his face. A face which, except for a handful of fine lines here and there, looks much the same as it did when the two of them first met.

"Morning, sleepyhead…" Barry answers as the Daxamite takes a seat. "Happy quincentennial! I looked that word up, just for you!"

"Thanks, Bar. Although honestly, between the space travel and being born in another solar system, not to mention all the stasis pods and bouncing around time, I don't even _know_ how old I am any more."

"Yeah, me neither…but hey, any excuse to bring all of us together, right? Outside of saving the multiverse, I mean."

"Couldn't agree more. I assume you already had a chance to fuss over our new little one? She's quite the doe-eyed cutie." Mon-El looks back over his shoulder at his younger daughter and her tiny descendant, a child who also happens to trace her lineage back to one Mr. Bartholomew Henry Allen. On her father's side.

Barry beams dreamily. "Oh, for sure. Gorgeous. Another little speed demon, so help us all…"

"Not sure I can even keep up any more," Mon-El shakes his head.

"Hey, we might be the oldest men on either of our Earths, but we still have a little pep in our step."

"We do. Though I wouldn't want to challenge any of these youngsters to a foot race any time soon."

"Good call for both of us, I think."

"Make that all three of us," Kara says, entering the room and sitting in an adjacent chair, putting her feet up on the seat next to her.

"Feeling the centuries, are we?" Barry says.

"Lil' bit. Maybe we should all retire, move into that super old folks home, like we always said," she snarks.

"We can't," Barry argues. "We haven't yet figured out how to clone Oliver. I mean, who's gonna get all cranky when we forget to speed-wash the dishes?"

They all chuckle at this, but the mention of their long-dead friend casts a minor pall on their mood. They each exhale, and are momentarily quiet.

"Well, thanks for coming, Barry," Kara finally says. "Can you stick around for a bit? There's gonna be lots of food, and I think the younger set has some activities planned or something. I believe I heard mention of someone setting up an actual game of Quidditch. In honor of a certain someone being a big ol' Potterhead."

"Right…with actual flying. You know, it's not often these days I see something new. Guess I'll have to check that out." Barry half-smiles.

"Long as no one is expecting me to be the golden snitch," Mon-El says. "This Name Day boy is perfectly content to be a spectator today." He rises, slightly ponderously, from his chair, and grabs a glass of juice on his way outside to check on John, who is overseeing the set-up of a tent and a large number of picnic tables. Nearby, others are assembling an oversize volleyball court, and in a nearby field some rather large rings on posts. _Guess they weren't kidding about the quidditch,_ he thinks.

"How many are we expecting?" Mon-El asks his son.

"Well, not everyone. At least not all at once. Someone's got to mind the store, you know. We've got a few hundred patrolling this morning, and then they'll tag team with some folks here. And of course, we've got quite a few people off world and just...you know, busy."

"Understandable. Just...tell me they didn't all bring gifts. I don't think we have enough storage space for thousands of kitchen gadgets."

"Your fault for taking on the mantle of family head chef. But no...I made it clear this is a no presents party. In fact, you're actually the one doing the gift-giving to your many, many offspring this year."

"I am?" Mon-El quirks his head at his son. "I hope nothing too expensive, considering there are now well over thirty thousand of you."

"Ha, no. I compiled all your best recipes into a cookbook. Everyone is getting a copy sent to their holo-tab. I left out the lima bean and fala root casserole, though. Because...no, thanks."

"I thought you liked that!"

"No one likes lima beans, Dad."

"They're good for you!"

"We're semi-immortal, indestructible beings, dad. Malnutrition isn't a huge concern."

Mon-El chuckles in his fatherly way. "Fine. And...thank you. That was a nice idea."

"You're welcome, Dad."

The rest of the day mostly goes off without a hitch. They go through mountains of food. Songs are sung, games are played, and some of the children do a little reenactment of their ancestors' origin story. Kara practically squeals over her tiny descendants in their little superhero outfits, not to mention the ones in mini DEO uniforms. The scene depicting Mon-El getting his first Earth beat-down from the woman who would one day bear his children is her particular favorite. Afterwards, Mon-El makes a heartfelt speech about his love and gratitude for each and every one of his children, and the extraordinary opportunity he never could have imagined: to see his family continue and grow all these years.

Finally, the festivities close with their version of a light show, involving varying colors of heat vision firing into the air, followed by a few hundred of them spelling out their Great Father's name with sparklers in the sky.

There's applause, and many good-nights, and cleaning up, and eventually everyone goes home. Everyone except the Kara, Mon-El, and Barry, who sit around the remains of the bonfire drinking beers and reminiscing about old times.

"Remember when we fought off that attack by lizard people?" Barry belly-laughs. "What even _was_ that?"

"Weird is what it was. Only thing weirder I can think of was…"

"...Me, Dahling?" a crooning voice interjects from behind them.

"No…no. No no no no NO. That _better_ not be who I think it is," Kara says without even turning around, eyes already slammed shut in defiance of reality.

Mon-El is more blasé. "I suppose I might have expected this. What took you so long, Mxyzptlyk? I honestly figured we'd see you well before now."

"Oh, you _would_ have, but you lot have a friend in a high place. One who had plans for you. Ruined my every chance at fun. But…now that you've gone and saved the world from that meteor--with, by the way, an assist from yours truly--that goody two-shoes musical magician is off...I dunno, actually. Doing whatever boring thing his kind do on vacation."

"Wait, is he talking about Music Meister?" Barry asks. "Is this guy...like _that_ guy?"

"No, he's much, _much_ worse," Kara laments. But…go back, cause there's a lot to unpack there. What _exactly_ did you mean about helping us save the world? You had _nothing_ to do with that. Hell, _we_ had nothing to do with that. Our grandchildren and their children and so on..._they_ are the ones who diverted that meteor."

"Yes, while you all were bravely hiding in the time...zone…thingy."

"Temporal zone. And we _had_ to, to avoid a cataclysmic paradox."

"Whatever you say, love. All I know is, the bozo with the pocket square bribed me into helping him get the two of you back together, so you could make like rabbits and breed enough supers to keep the world from ending. So...you're welcome."

Kara and Mon-El gape at him, utterly floored. Barry, not quite clear on what exactly is going on here, looks back and forth between his two friends, then lounges back on his Adirondack chair and takes another sip of his beer, waiting for the situation to play out further.

"Wh…what do you mean? Helped him...how?" Kara sputters.

"Same way he's always helped you keep on track. Open a time portal here, plant an idea there. And of course you already know about the whole 'Enlisting a copy of Blondie here to bully you two into sucking face' thing. But I wasn't around for most of that. Believe it or not, I actually got bored watching Prince Uncharming make sad pining heart eyes. It was just...pathetic, really. And I wasn't that interested in watching all the headboard-splintering I can only assume followed after. Though I can't speak for the other guy, and I never did quite understand his strange obsession with smooshing you two together like paper dolls. I, for one, _don't_ get my jollies that way."

"You know what? I...I don't really want to know any more," Kara stops him, clearly trying to shake off the cringeworthy imagery evoked by his words. "Why are you _here_, Mxy?"

"Thought I'd give your ball and chain here a birthday present, that's all," the imp shrugs.

"NO!!!" Kara and Mon-El both yell.

"Oh, what?" Mxy says, gasping and putting his hand over his heart. "You know, I'm offended. The lack of faith, really, after all I've done for you."

"We didn't _ask_ you to do _anything_, Mxy," Kara argues.

"Perhaps not, but you still owe me quite a bit, you know."

"I think we beg to differ on that," Mon-El says warily.

"Fine. Whatever. But...I still have something for you. For all three of you, in fact."

"What, me, too?" Barry looks up from his beer, startled. "I don't even know who you _are_, dude."

"I'm a man of limitless generosity, friend."

"We're _not_ your friends. We don't want _anything_ from you, Mxy. Why can't you just leave us alone?" Kara pleads.

"Calm down, love," he purrs. "I'm not here to hurt you. Quite the opposite, actually. I think you heroes deserve a break. I heard all that complaining about the ravages of time getting to you. Bit whiny, actually. And rather unbecoming, I'd say."

"Whoa, whoa. A break? What _kind_ of break?" Mon-El ventures to ask, staring a little fearfully at the 5th dimensional troublemaker.

"Call it a vacation. With benefits. After all, you lot may be getting on in years, but you're still young at heart, aren't you?"

"What does _that_ mean?" Kara wonders, panic growing in her gut, as she looks back and forth, from her mate and best friend to the magical intruder standing before them.

"You'll see. Enjoy!" And with that, his fingers snap, and the world around the three of them goes dark.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara wakes up feeling...a LITTLE different.

The first thing she hears is the sound of the waves. Which isn't, on the surface, all that strange. Their house, while not directly on the beach as her childhood home once was, resides just a half a mile or so from the shore. She feels pleasantly warm, from the soft sand underneath her and the yellow sun overhead. She feels Mon-El next to her, takes in his familiar scent, and scooches closer to him, not quite ready to shake off her sleepy haze and face the world. Or even question how they came to be lying on the beach together.

But before she even opens her eyes, she realizes something is off. The chest she nuzzles into...the arm that reflexively wraps around her…this isn't Mon-El's body, she realizes with a start. This form is...skinny, without the thick biceps and firm pectorals she's accustomed to. In fact, it reminds her of...of her sons, when they were in high school.

Wait…WHAT?!

She bolts upright, eyes agog at the body on the ground next to her. His face is turned away, but those familiar lines are there. The dark hair, the fine chin scruff, the slightly cherubic cheeks.

"Xander?" she wonders aloud, though a voice in the back of her head reminds her that her elder son hasn't looked like that in hundreds of years.

Rousing at the sound of her voice, he turns his head towards her and opens his eyes. Though she half-expects her child's blue eyes to meet hers, instead she sees grey.

Mon-El's grey eyes. Eyes that look up, studying her in confusion.

"Allie?" he says.

"What?" Kara tilts her head, trying to make sense of all this. "I'm not…"

That's when she realizes her own voice sounds...wrong. Higher than she's used to. And kind of...squeakier.

"Whoa…" she hears from her other side. Twisting her entire body, she looks down upon another figure lying on the sand. Like the grey-eyed form, this is...well, not a full-grown man. It's...he's...a boy. Perhaps fifteen or sixteen. And yet his face is incredibly familiar.

"Uh...hey…" she says, a bit dumbly.

"Heyyy…" the boy says, sitting up next to her.

"Does anyone know what's happening?" The other boy--the grey-eyed one--ekes out, voice cracking a little.

"I'm not sure. I...I don't remember…" she says, meeting his eyes again. Eyes...that she's been staring into for centuries now. "...Mo...Mon-El? Is…is that you?"

"Kara?" he replies, baffled. "But...you're…you look like…"

Kara, slightly fearful, glances down at her body. It's...not quite what she's used to. Leaner, skin more supple. And she just...feels different. The fatigue, the slight creakiness she's grown used to over many years, are simply...gone.

"Holy shit...you guys are freaking teenagers!" The other young man's voice breaks them away from looking into each other's gaze.

"Barry?" Kara gasps. "Oh my God!"

"Yeah, dude…might wanna look in the mirror," Mon-El says.

"What, seriously?" Barry's eyes go wide. "Me, too?" He glances down at himself, at his gawky, spindly arms and legs, with fascination.

"Oh, my God…oh, my God!" Kara can't help repeating herself.

"Babe, it's okay. We're all safe, right?" Mon-El asks.

"I mean, I guess…" she answers, biting her lip anxiously, and standing up to pace back and forth along the sand. "But…where are we? What's happened to us?"

"No idea…" Mon-El shrugs. "But it's...kinda nice here."

Kara takes a moment to take inventory of their surroundings. The beach is covered in pure white, sparkling, nearly opalescent sand, and the water is a shade of emerald green she wasn't aware existed on Earth.

_Earth!!!_

Were they even _on_ Earth? Had they awoken on some foreign planet somewhere? She looks up. The sun is still yellow. The sky is still blue. There are rock formations jutting out of the waves in various spots, jet black with striations of white running through at random intervals. Atop some of them, vibrant green vines, and a shrubbery here and there protrude. And the land itself is lush, with trees, ferns, and--judging by the din of bird songs coming from seemingly every direction--abundant wildlife.

It could be Earth...maybe...but not quite like any place she's ever seen. And in her five centuries on the planet she's seen a lot of places. But...it's as though the Greek isles and Polynesia and the Great Barrier Reef had a picturesque tropical baby together somehow.

And then she hears a voice. One she hasn't heard--at least not at its current pitch--since her first days on her adopted homeworld.

"Hello? Is there anyone here?"

Kara's heart practically pounds out of her chest. She looks at...her husband. Even though he doesn't quite look like her husband. Judging by his face, he recognizes the sound, too.

"...A...Alex?" she ekes out, hopefully.

"Kara? Is that you?"

The Kryptonian takes off at a run towards the voice...a run that's far slower than she's normally accustomed to under a yellow sun. Not that she's particularly concerned about that right now.

"Kara!" she hears young Mon-El call out from behind her, as two pairs of footsteps follow her down the beach and around a rock formation.

Sure enough, there's the elder Danvers sister. Just like them, she looks to be aged about sixteen.

"Holy shit!" Alex says, as they stare at each other for a moment in disbelief, before they run to embrace one another tightly.

"How are you here?" Kara asks when she's finally able to pull herself away. "You're...you're so…"

"Acne-prone?" her sister says, pulling away to look at her. "Yeah, we noticed that."

"We?" Kara raises an eyebrow in confusion.

Alex points a thumb over her shoulder, and Kara sees them coming up behind: two young women with dark hair, and three boys as well. She gasps at the sight, going slightly weak in the knees.

"Hey, guys!" one of the boys says, waving and flashing a toothy grin she'd know anywhere. "Um...wow. I kind of expected Kara and Mon, considering all this...whatever, but...is that Barry, too?"

"Hi," the speedster waves sheepishly. "Winn? I think? And that's your sister, obviously, and James, yeah? And…" Barry stops in his tracks. "Oh, my God…"

"Yeah, oh my God is _right_, Barry! Now any of you mind telling me what the hell we're all _doing_ here?" Unlike the others, who are currently exhibiting a mixture of giddy glee and wary concern, this young gentleman is currently emoting a distinctly grumpy quality.

"Oliver?!" Kara gasps. "Wow…somehow I always pictured you born as a curmudgeony adult. Not...this…"

"Yeah, ha _ha_, Kara. Now where the hell _are_ we?

"We don't know…" Mon-El starts, seeing Kara's a bit too flustered to respond. "But we know who brought us here. A guy named Mxyzptlyk."

"What?" Oliver looks at the trio with frustration and a hint of disdain. "What's a Mix..pittle…_whatever_ you just said?"

"He's a 5th dimensional being," Mon-El explains. "He can...alter reality."

"Oh, God," Oliver sighs. "I swear, only you three could get yourselves into a mess like this."

"That's...fair," Barry concedes. "But…how are you all _here_? I mean...you're all...kinda...in the time we come from, that is, you're…"

"Dead?" Alex finishes. "Yeah...last thing I remember I was ninety-five and lying there, and you were with me, Kara, and…well, let's just say I knew it was the end. I can't speak for everyone else, but…"

"Sounds familiar," young James says with a shrug, as the others nod. Oliver just turns away,

"Not to me," one of the dark-haired girls says. "Last thing I remember is being on the bridge. Not quite as young and lovely as I am now, but still...not old."

"Imra?" Mon-El gasps. "You, too? But why would he…"

"Mon-El, I know I may not be as important to you as _some_ people, but…" Mon-El flinches slightly at her reaction.

"Okay, okay, can we just figure out what to do _now_?" the last young woman interrupts. "And hi, by the way." She eyerolls slightly, annoyance clear in her voice.

"Wow," Kara starts, "Sorry, Lena...you look…REALLY different."

They all stare at the young woman for a moment, taking in her strange appearance, quite unlike the well-dressed and coiffed version they recall from so many years ago. This Lena has on black lipstick, what appears to be white powder on her face, with dark eyeliner and jet hued, almost bluish hair. She has a studded choker around her neck, and the rest of her outfit is...vampire-esque, to say the least. All noir with just a minimal pop of deep blood red on the corset-like shirt she's wearing.

It's not exactly beach attire, that's for sure.

"What...um...happened to you?" Kara wonders aloud.

"Nothing," she shrugs. "This is just how I looked when I was sixteen."

"You were a _goth_?" Winn balks at this information.

"I was trying to piss off Lillian." She crosses her arms over her chest grumpily. "It's not like I was a juggalo or whatever. I just...shopped at Hot Topic a lot."

"Seriously? Like…at a _regular_ mall?" James side-eyes her, then inhales as though he's had an epiphany. "_That's_ why I never saw any photos of you in high school. But...you said all your yearbooks were lost in a fire!"

"They were. It just happened to be a small bonfire I set out behind the pool house to get rid of some...compromising evidence, let's say."

"Compromising?" James quirks his head, confused.

"There...may have been a few Marilyn Manson albums in there. And an Evanescence poster or two. And a box set of The Crow." She crosses her arms defensively, and even with the thick coating of white makeup on it's clear she's blushing.

"...Wow," James snickers.

"Okay, husband. Or should I say discount Fresh Prince? Seriously...jorts? And your shirt I'm pretty sure can be seen from space." She's right, of course. It's a shade of neon yellow that's practically blinding them all as it radiates color in the sun. With a backwards cap to match.

Kara tries not to laugh as she takes in everyone's odd attire, as they all make the rounds to greet and embrace each other happily. Winn has on cutoffs, and a slightly dirty tee shirt that says "Computer Ninja" on it. Oliver is wearing what Kara can only imagine is the remains of a private school uniform. Confirming her suspicions she sees a navy blazer and striped tie discarded nearby on the sand. Alex is in an oversize shirt and baggy, rumpled cargo pants. Looking down, she sees herself, in a bulky pink sweater and jeans that look like they've been ironed.

At least Mon-El and Barry look kind of normal. Barry's just in a red shirt and jeans, and Mon-El...has just taken his shirt off…

"What are you _doing_?" she loud-whispers as his grey mock turtleneck drops into a puddle on the sand.

"What? It's hot!" he shrugs. Kara stares at him a moment too long, some rather...confusing feelings bubbling up in her. _Ooookay...no. Knock it off, Kara. He's a kid right now_, she thinks. Although…he's not. Not really. _And I'm technically I think even younger than he is right now, and..._

"Kara!" Alex derails her train of thought.

Like a deer in headlights, Kara whips her head back at her sister. Though for a split second she thinks she sees Imra looking at him the same way she just was, and feels a quick flare of jealousy in the pit of her stomach.

"Wh...I'm sorry, what did you say?" the Kryptonian shakes off her moment.

"I said this is an island, I think. I was the first to wake up. Or whatever. So I climbed up as high as I could, close to the summit." She points to the apex visible through the spotty tree canopy. "And as best I can tell, there's water all around, and nothing else. No mainland, no other islands, nothing that suggests human habitation."

"We could even be on another planet. But not one I've ever seen," Kara replies.

"Me neither," Mon-El and Imra say in unison.

"What, for _real_?" Barry says with some amount of delight. "Well...cool! You know, you never have made good on that invite to check out the Horsehead Nebula. I think I've been asking for a couple hundred years now."

"Couple hund...how old _are_ you guys?" James wonders.

"Uh, well last thing I remember is…" Kara looks up and taps her chin.

"My 500th Name Day party," Mon-El finishes. "Though now that I'm thinking on it, it was kind of lame."

"_Lame_?" Kara says, a little offended. "Your children worked _really_ hard on that!"

"Yeah, well, maybe if they knew me better they would know to add a little more _alcohol_ to the proceedings. Rao, what I wouldn't give to be sitting at a bar with a nice stiff drink in my hand right about now," he bellyaches, as Kara dons her patented "Are you _serious?_" glare, which doesn't quite fit with her otherwise youthful visage.

"A bar like..._that_, you mean?" Winn points up the beach a ways, where a small round hut-like structure, open air but with a thatched roof sits, with exactly eight stools around it. There's clearly a circular, fully stocked bar inside.

"That...was _definitely_ not there a minute ago," James notes.

"Sweet!" the Daxamite yells, sprinting over to the structure and effortlessly hopping over the bartop to peruse the selection and put his bartending skills to good use.

"Your man has the right idea, Kara," Oliver nods approvingly, strolling over to pull up to the first seat. Alex shrugs, sighs, and heads there as well. And one by one the others trickle over. All except Kara and Barry.

"What are you all _doing_?" Kara yells. "For all we know, that could be…"

"What, poisoned?" Barry finishes. "You think that guy would create this place, bring us all here together, just to murder us with toxic booze?"

"You think...Mxy _made_ this island? Like, from scratch?"

"Well, I started thinking when you said it could be another planet. And, I mean, it could, but...those are clearly coconut palm trees there. However, the ocean…it's green. Like, _green_ green. I've been all over the Earth, run over every ocean many times, in your universe and mine. I can't remember seeing ocean water that color. And look at the rock over there. It's limestone and obsidian...in layers. Like stripes. I've never seen anything like that. It's not impossible, but…very unlikely. Plus the bar appearing out of nowhere. And then of course…"

"The fact that we're all teenagers and our friends have come back from the dead?"

"Right. That."

"How do we know it even _is_ them? Maybe they're just copies. You know? Avatars. Like...in a dream or something. Or...a computer simulation, maybe."

"I mean...does it matter? There's no way to know regardless. Does she _seem_ like your sister? I didn't know anyone here when they were this age."

"Yeah, she does. I mean...not that teen Alex was a big drinker, that...uh...came later. But mostly…it's...it's her."

"Then…probably we're all...us."

"....Damn it, Mxy."

"Well...is it the worst thing, really? Having them back for...however long we're all here?"

Kara stares at the ground, dourly. "It means we'll have to say goodbye to them again. Sooner or later, anyway."

He sighs. "...I know. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

"Okay, yeah. It's just…"

"What?"

"I remember...being five centuries old…my family, my life then...but I feel…"

"Like you're sixteen again?"

"Yes, exactly. Like I just lost Krypton. Like it's all fresh."

"Yeah, me too. My memories of my mother...they're, you know, vivid. And Joe, and Iris…"

"...I'm sorry she's not here, Bar."

"...I'm not." He sticks his hands in his pockets and looks down at his feet. "Like you said, it'll be hard enough letting go of Ollie again. I couldn't...I couldn't do it if it was Iris."

She exhales heavily. "I couldn't if it was Mon-El. Even though he's already acting like, I assume, his actual teenage self. But...I'm not sure how I'm going to let go of Alex, either. Or any of them."

"You'll have me. And I'll always have your back, you know that. I'll be with you every step of…whatever the hell this is."

Kara holds out her hand, and the speedster clasps it tightly. A little too tightly.

"Ow. Guess we definitely don't have any powers here, either," she winces.

"Sorry. And yeah, I kind of figured that when I couldn't speed down the beach."

"Hey! You guys coming, or what?" Alex calls out, a disapproving look on her face. "Or you just gonna stand around like a bunch of buzzkills?"

"Well…let's go have a drink, I guess," Kara sighs.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reunited and it feels so...weird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I did okay with Oliver. I don't watch Arrow and there's not that much on the wikis about what he might have been like as a teen. But he was a rich asshole, right? So, I made him kind of a rich asshole.

Attempting to focus, for now at least, on the joy of being together again, Mon-El happily blends up margaritas and mai tais. Except for Alex and Lena, who both opt for whiskey. And Oliver, who doesn't seem to care what he imbibes as long as it gets him drunk. Someone manages to conjure a stereo from somewhere, which magically streams a selection of god-awful music. Somewhere during the second round of "Cotton Eye Joe" Kara decides maybe Mxy is actually trying to kill her, after all. 

"I _like_ this guy!" Mon-El says over the bar, pointing at Ollie, after the latter regales them all with a story about the time he snuck out of his fancy private school dorm and somehow managed to replace all the iced tea in the cafeteria with Kentucky bourbon. "We shoulda hung out more when you were...you know…" 

"Alive?" 

"...Right."

"Old me stopped doing stuff like that. Though right now...I'm kind of struggling to remember why. But you know what? Who cares!" He holds up his glass and clinks it with their impromptu bartender's. "Hey, you ever do a keg stand?"

"Nope. Can you believe it? Half a millennium old and never done...whatever that is." Mon-El shakes his head, throwing a loose bar towel over his shoulder like an old pro.

"Do we have a keg?"

Mon-El glances around, and sure enough, a large metal drum with a tap materializes next to his feet.

"We do _now_!"

Kara and Barry sit at the other end of the bar, watching the spectacle play out. 

"Father of my children, ladies and gentlemen!" Kara says, a little louder than she meant to, as a pair of Daxamite feet ascend above their heads. She punctuates the unceremonious announcement with a hiccup. 

Mon-El smiles when he finishes up and comes back down, and sidles up in front of her, leaning over to plant a sloppy kiss on her lips. "Love of my life! Even if you can't hold your liquor, baby." He winks affectionately at her before returning his attention to the livelier end of the bar. 

"I can, _too_!" Kara protests, though she's not sure why. It's not as though binge drinking is something she puts on her resumé. 

"I'm with him on _this_ one, Kara," Alex says a little snidely, from a few seats away. "That time he got you plastered on Alderbaran rum at the alien bar...wow." 

"Traitor," Kara snarks back, corner of her mouth creeping upwards as she pokes with a straw at the rapidly melting slush in her piña colada. 

"Are you okay?" Barry asks quietly. "You've barely talked to your sister yet."

"I know. This is just...so confusing. I don't know quite what to say."

"Think it's more confusing than being on your deathbed then waking up in Lord of the Flies?"

"Barry, for Rao's _sake_…" she shoots him a glance that's half annoyed and half horrified. 

"I mean, not that we're gonna like, descend into savagery and chaos or anything. I just meant since we're a bunch of kids alone on an island."

"I dunno...the way my husband is hitting that keg makes me think chaos isn't too far off."

"Oh, he's fine. Look, they're about to play ping pong, they just conjured up a table. See?" Kara looks over to see that indeed there is a large green foldable table. With no paddles in sight. There are, however, an array of red solo cups being arranged.

"...Those are..._definitely_ not for ping pong…" she notes.

Barry lets out a huff. "Just go talk to your freaking sister already, will you? I'll babysit Animal House over there."

Relenting, Kara hops down from her stool and taps Alex on the shoulder, pulling her away from what appears to be an engrossing conversation with Winn, Lena and James... which is immediately shushed on Kara's approach. 

"Oh, hey," Alex says. "You and Barry...having fun?"

"Yeah. Sorry, I should have come over sooner, it's just...this is so weird."

"I know. It's okay."

"Can we…go talk? Somewhere?" 

Alex nods, and the two of them depart the festivities, heading off into the jungle a ways. 

"So...what have you been up to? The last few hundred years?"

"Um…you know, saving the world. Other worlds, too. Things are...they're good. I've had a good life."

"And Mon-El?"

"What about him?" 

"You guys...you're still together?"

"Of course. Why _wouldn't_ we be?"

"No reason. Just…that's a long time to be married. For anyone. I mean Julianne and I were hitched for a long ass time, and we had our rough spots. Though it all seems so...distant now. And the way he's acting at the moment…"

"Alex, we're magically all teenagers. I don't think…"

"...Plus there's _Barry_…"

"Barry? What _about_ Barry?"

"Nothing, you guys just...seem kinda tight."

"Well...yeah. He's my best friend. More than that, he's family."

"...You have a buttload of kids, isn't that enough family for you?"

"Alex...do you have a problem with Barry?"

"No! Of course not. I'm…I'm glad you have a person. In your life. Other than your husband. Although given your man's...you know, proclivities, I was half-expecting you to tell me you guys are now in some kinda three-way marital arrangement or something."

"Alex!" Kara's eyes go wide. 

"Whoops, prude alert!" Alex crosses her arms over her chest and snickers. "Didn't mean to set you off."

"What's got _into_ you?" Kara half-pouts. 

"Me? I'm fine. Although I'm getting a little tired. And bored. Too bad there's no...wait…what's that?" The brunette narrows her eyes at something in the distance and sprints off, leaving Kara alone, feeling frustrated and, frankly, kind of appalled. 

Following behind and pouting just a little, Kara realizes what Alex is running towards. A beautiful hotel built into the side of the hill, stunning white with a Spanish tile roof and a spacious wraparound veranda, complete with plush chairs and ceiling fans. On one side is a beautiful blue lagoon, complete with a waterfall. 

"What _is_ this place?" Kara says when she catches up. "I don't see anyone else here, there's no staff or anything."

"Who cares? It looks like fun. Let's go tell the others."

Watching as Alex takes off yet again, Kara sighs and decides to just wait where she is. It isn't long before her friends come sauntering up, their arrival punctuated by a celebratory hoot and holler here and there, as they take in the new island amenity they've discovered. 

Kara looks for her husband, who she finally spots, smiling at her as he arrives, bottle of vodka in one hand while good other arm is occupied...by Imra, who's smugly clutching it while resting her head against his bicep. She frowns when she sees Kara, but doesn't let go. 

"Baby!" Mon-El yells. "Nice job! This place looks awesome!"

Kara and Imra stare daggers at each other for a moment. Until Kara pulls it together and shakes off the green monster rearing its ugly head. 

"Uh…thanks, love. Why don't we go in and see if there's any food? I'm starting to get kinda hungry."

"Oh, yeah. Me, too! How about I wish you up a pizza and potstickers buffet?" He smiles broadly and pulls away from Imra, much to her visible chagrin. Kara, despite herself, feels a frisson of triumph, laced with no small amount of smugness, shoot through her. It's all she can do to keep herself from shooting a dirty look at her…romantic rival? 

_Wait, what the hell am I doing?_ She realizes. _She's my friend._ They had worked together for years without any pettiness or cattiness between them. So...why does this feel so different?

She drags her husband inside, into a large open lobby area, which is totally vacant, except for what she now sees is a buffet station boasting exactly the array of culinary delights he'd just described. Pumping his fist in celebration, he trots over and samples the offerings. 

"Damn, I'm good! These are great, baby. You gotta try 'em!" he croons.

"Mon-El, wait, don't you think we're all acting...kinda weird? Like, I know we're teenagers and all, but we still remember everything from our lives before. And yet here we are, Alex is being a jerk, you and Oliver have turned into party boys, and Imra is…well..."

"What?" He furrows his eyebrows in confusion. 

"She's all OVER you, _that's_ what she is!"

"Aww…" a sweet smile spreads across his face. "You a tiny bit jealous, baby?"

"No! I'm a LOT jealous, that's _exactly_ the problem! I know, intellectually, that I _shouldn't_ be. She's my friend! She and I love each other like sisters! She delivered all our children, for Rao's sake! I'd trust her with my life! And...come to think of it, since we changed the timeline, you weren't even married to her, so I don't understand why…"

Mon-El's face falls. Like he's been hit by a ton of bricks. "Oh, man...shit...you know what? You're right. This is…it doesn't make sense. We're all adults. We _know_ that. And yet…"

"We're all acting like children anyway?"

"Right, but it's worse than that. Look, I know when we met you thought I was the frat boy of the universe, but honestly, Kara, I was never _this_ bad. Especially as a teen. My life there was...mostly going through the motions. Hating my existence, never feeling comfortable, and distracting myself, dulling the pain with booze and drugs. But I didn't...I didn't really do it for _fun_. Well, okay, maybe a _little_ when I got to Earth, and I was finally free of all that, but…"

"You didn't? Because I gotta be honest, just now it looked like…"

"I know. I got a bit…there's something about this place that makes it so easy to get lost in that side of yourself. It's like we're all...caricatures. We're not really…"

"...ourselves."

"...Right."

"Well. I don't know what there is to do right now, except wait until Mxy gets bored and sends us home, I guess."

"...Maybe we should just roll with it."

"What do you mean?"

"Give him a show."

"Isn't that...counterproductive? I mean, if our goal is boring him."

"But Kara, if he gets too bored too quickly, what do you think he'll do?"

Kara's eyes go wide. "Oh, Rao...nothing good, that's for sure. So...okay, just...do me a favor. Don't get _too_ caught up. Because I swear if you end up running off with your sort-of ex…"

"What?! Baby, listen, I don't care what crazy ass world we're on, or how old we are, you have been the love of my life for hundreds of years. Nothing will _ever_ change that, understand?"

"Aww, I love you, too, sweetie." She wraps her arms around him, burying her face in his less-bulky-than-usual shoulder. It feels a little strange…except...no, it doesn't, not really. But it _should_, shouldn't it? 

When she pulls back, he cups her face in his hands and kisses her. She stiffens slightly for a moment, but then relaxes into it, the familiar sensation of his lips on hers something she's never much had the willpower to resist. 

Until, of course, his hands travel down to cup her backside, and he pulls her against him until she can feel him against her stomach…getting hard. 

"Mon-El!" She breaks the kiss, appalled. 

"What?" he questions, with an air of confusion. 

"We can't do that...here! And like _this_!"

"Why not?"

"Because! We're…children!"

"...We're both five _hundred_."

"But...our bodies…they're…"

"...Still us, just...full of hormones, that's all."

"But…"

"...Kara, look. I'm certainly not gonna pressure you, but…the age of majority on Krypton was sixteen, right? I mean that's what it was on Daxam."

"Well...yeah, okay. It was. But how do we know we're…"

"See this scar? Near my elbow? It faded fast once I got to Earth, but...I got bit by a garata dragon the week after my 16th Name Day. So I know I'm at least that old, and I'm sure you must be, too. We probably _all_ are."

"I guess…"

"Come on, when are we gonna get the chance to be horny teenagers together again? But...you know, with hundreds of years of sexual experience. _Just_ saying."

"You're unbelievable." She crosses her arms and shakes her head a tad judgmentally. Though he can tell she's fighting back a smile. 

"I was just thinking the same thing about you, but, you know, in a _good_ way." He waggles his eyebrows lasciviously and closes the distance between them, leaning over to attach his lips to her neck. She moans slightly, and he has to stifle a chuckle or risk raising her ire.

"Okay...maybe," she relents. "But later. After I get some more time with everyone else."

"Understood." He gives her a peck on the lips as she rolls her eyes and drags him back to the veranda. Grabbing a couple heaping plates of food on the way, of course.

"Oh...and Kara?" he stops her momentarily on their way out the door. 

"Yesh?" she manages, mouth full of pineapple pizza. 

"This…Alex...everyone being here? Whatever this place is, I mean, not to give you-know-who _too_ much credit, but…this is a gift. I know we eventually need to get back to the kids, and our life in the real world, but…"

"...I know. Don't get so caught up in trying to problem-solve that we forget to cherish the time we have with all of them."

He smiles broadly. "That's my girl."

"Psh. _Literally_."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara starts reconnecting with some of her old friends. 
> 
> It doesn't go well.

"Check it out!" Winn yells upon their return. "We dreamed up a hot tub, a fire pit, a pretty dope waterslide and a diving board for the lagoon-pool thing, and look over there next to the door, there's a whole wardrobe full of clothes, bathing suits, you name it."

The others seem to have already gotten changed into swimwear, and are roasting marshmallows over the pit. Kara's mouth waters, even though she's already gobbling down a plate of food.

"Yeah, this place is great!" James sighs as he leans back on a deck chair, soaking up the last rays of the setting sun. "I'll take this over being dead _any_ day." He removes his sunglasses then and looks up with some alarm. "We're..._definitely_ not dead, right? This isn't, like, some form of heaven?"

"We're _not_ dead," Barry says a smidge dismissively from the next chair over. "It's just a little manipulation of reality."

"Well, whatever it is, I could stay here pretty much indefinitely…" Lena says as she rather messily assembles a s'more, getting marshmallow goo all over her fingers.

"Here, let me," Alex laughs, grabbing another couple graham crackers and chocolate squares. "I assume you haven't done this much, huh?"

"Camping wasn't exactly a staple activity in the Luthor household," Lena deadpans.

"Oh, um...you have a little...on your chin." Smiling, Alex grabs a napkin and cleans Lena's face of a small amount of white fluff.

"Uh...thanks…" Lena awkwardly says.

James, side-eying his friend, sits up and takes it upon himself to remove his tank top. "Surprised you could tell, against all the white makeup. That there was marshmallow there, I mean."

Lena rolls her eyes. "I already tried to wash it off, or wish it off, or whatever. Our bodies are apparently the one thing we don't have control over here. So other than changing clothes, we're all stuck the way we are."

"Well, I happen to think you look _great_, Lena," Alex smirks. "Come on, we'll have dessert in a bit. Let's go take a dip."

Lena shrugs, then takes off her black lace cover-up, and the two of them practically strut off toward the diving board. Just as Kara and Mon-El, freshly attired in beachwear, stroll up.

Kara frowns noticeably as Alex walks away. "Do you...think she's avoiding me?" she asks her husband.

"Not sure. Want me to go talk to her and find out?"

"You?" Kara raises an eyebrow.

"What? She's kinda my sister, too. We were always partners in...you know…"

"...Crime?"

"No, in keeping _you_ out of trouble."

"Mon-El…"

"I just thought maybe I could fish around a little, that's all. See if she says anything to me that she won't say to you, to your face."

Kara sighs. "Okay, it's worth a shot."

"Gotcha. Be back in a few."

Almost as soon as he leaves, Oliver comes sidling up to her.

"So...been a long ass time, Supergirl."

"Yeah," she smiles at him. "It has."

"You okay? You seem kinda…like you're not having much fun. Which would be a real shame."

"It's just...my sister, something's off. Mon-El is trying to figure out what's up with her."

"We're all adjusting," he shrugs. "And I know how it is with sisters. Come on, let's take a walk."

"Walk where?"

Oliver looks around causally. "Thought we could shoot some stuff. Or see if I remember how, anyway." He grabs her hands and holds them out, palms up, until a bow appears in one, a quiver of arrows in the other.

"You wanna do archery? Now?" she wonders aloud.

"Why not? I don't think we're going anywhere for a while."

"Well...I guess…"

"Come on. Live a little!"

She chuckles at his oddly boisterous manner, and follows him to the far side of the complex, where, she now sees, an array of practice targets has been set up.

"Okay, you remember how this goes?" he raises an eyebrow at her. "Been a while for you since I taught you. Remember? It was after that lizard people attack…"

"...Yeah, I think so. And honestly I seem to remember having a knack for it. I mean I _have_ spent my life shooting eye lasers at things."

"Right. Hey, did I ever tell you your powers are _very_ cool?"

"Uh, no. You mostly were grumpy in my general direction."

"Well, I'm sorry about that."

She balks at his seemingly sincere, out-of-nowhere apology. "Oh. Um. It's okay. We always worked pretty well together. At least in the sense that we always got the job done in the end."

"We did, didn't we?" He smiles at her, in an intense way that Kara might have thought was an attempt at flirting--if she didn't know any better.

Shrugging his strange behavior off, she turns toward the first target, loads the bow and pulls back.

"Relax your shoulder just a little." He places his hand soothingly on said shoulder, and caresses it slightly. Which has the opposite of the desired effect. "You're gonna end up pulling left."

Kara lets out a deep breath and tries to focus. She looses the arrow, which veers to one side, exactly as he predicted. It hits the target, barely, but nowhere near the center.

"That wasn't bad," he says encouragingly. "Try again."

"I'm just not used to doing this without super strength," she explains. "It's throwing me off."

"Here." He hands her another arrow and wraps his arms around her from behind. She tenses up again, but he compensates by steadying her and correcting her form. This time, the arrow flies true, hitting dead center.

She smiles and does a mini celebration dance, wiggling her hips slightly.

At which point he turns her around, still in his arms, says "I knew it!" and promptly plants his lips on hers, as her weapon goes crashing to the ground.

She freezes momentarily in his embrace, before pushing him away. Or trying to, anyway. His grip in this place is quite a bit stronger than hers.

"Oliver!" She gasps. "What the…?"

"Oh, come on. You _never_ thought about it?"

"Thought about what?"

"Us. This. What it would be like."

"What?! No!"

"Seriously? Not even after Overgirl and Dark Arrow? Like I'm not saying I would have acted on it...not _then_ anyway, but this place is...it's not even real, is it? It's like a dream. And I'm dead...in the real world. So…this is like a freebie."

Kara stares at him, incredulous, but stops trying to pull away. "What about Felicity?"

"What about her? She's not here. She's dead. Where _I'm_ supposed to be. And I mean...I still love her, but I don't think she'd begrudge me a little not-real fun. And, you know...I might have a slight thing for cute blondes in glasses."

"Okay, well _my_ husband is _here_."

"Yeah. He is," an eerily calm, familiar voice says from behind her. She turns around to see said husband, face red, fists balled. Next to him is her sister, who's crossing her arms disapprovingly.

"Mon-El...this isn't…" Kara tries to explain.

"I _know_ what this is. This is someone I thought was a friend putting the moves on MY girl."

"Dude, come on, can you blame me? Like I said, nothing we do counts here. It's, you know, a not-real place. Besides, don't you come from a planet of people who screw constantly? I figured you'd understand."

"Understand that you're trying to bang my wife? You son of a _bitch_!"

Mon-El launches himself at Oliver and takes a swing. Pushing Kara aside so hard she falls on her ass, Oliver attempts to dodge. But even without powers, Mon-El is slightly faster. The next thing Kara knows, Mon-El is grasping his fist in pain, and Oliver is on the ground next to her with a black eye, which he quickly covers with one hand.

"Baby! Are you okay?" Kara stands up, attempting to grab Mon-El's hand so she can examine it.

"I'm fine," he grumps, pulling away from her touch and stalking off back to the others.

"Jeez. You're just replacing _everybody_ today, aren't you?" Alex snarks.

"What? What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. I'm gonna go check on your boy."

Alex departs, arms still crossed, leaving Kara speechless.

"So...what now?" Oliver says, picking himself up.

"Now? Now I'm walking away from you, Oliver." Which, of course, is exactly what she does. Huffily.

"That guy was never good enough for you _anyway_!" he calls after her.

"Oh, piss off, you stupid...archer-boy...jerk!" she shouts back. "And by the way, arrows are ridiculous weapon. There's a reason people stopped using them a couple hundred years before you were born, you weirdo!"

"Oh, yeah?" 

"Yeah!"

And like that, she's gone.

"Fine. Guess I'll go dream up an ice pack." Oliver says once he's alone. "Or a nice thick steak, maybe."

********

By the time Kara gets back to everyone, they're all staring at her.

"What?" she crinkles, scanning the crowd.

Barry gets up from his lounge chair and approaches her. "Um...Kara, you weren't just making out with Oliver, right? _Please_ tell me you weren't," he whispers.

"No! I mean, he tried, but _obviously_ I didn't…"

"...Okay, I got it, say no more. Guess he's being kinda...taken over by his pre-Lian-Yu self. Like, you know, the guy who cheated on his girlfriend with her own sister."

"Eew. I forgot about that."

"Lucky you."

"Where's Mon-El?" she asks, scanning the group, where it appears people have paired off. Alex is still following Lena around, James and Winn are observing everything from the side of the pool, and…

"Wait, where's _Imra_?" she wonders with alarm.

"Uh...well, your sister tried to talk to your husband, he muttered something about you and Oliver kissing, and then he ran off back toward the beach, and Imra sorta...followed him."

"Dokhahsh Kael!" Kara spits loudly, and with venom, and walks off.

"Whoa!" Winn and Barry both exclaim, before they turn to look at each other, with some surprise.

"You learned Kryptonese, dude?" Winn asks.

"Uh, yeah. Couple hundred years ago," he replies, running his neck. "I spend a fair amount of time with them. And we, uh, share more than a few descendants."

"Wait, how many?" Alex asks, eyebrow raised.

"Like...800 or so?" Barry rubs the back of his neck.

"Dude…" Winn's eyes bug out. "That's...intense."

"What did she say?" James asks, a little impatiently.

"Uhh... nothing we can repeat in English," Barry deflects. "I'm gonna go make sure they're okay."

"Of _course_ you are," Alex mutters under her breath as he strolls off down the path to the beach.

Barry hears the remark, but opts to ignore it.

********

"Oh, come ON!" Kara yells at the sight of Mon-El sitting on a large chunk of driftwood, getting a shoulder massage from Imra.

Mon-El sighs and looks down at his feet, whereas Imra shoots Kara a smug smile and continues what she's doing.

"All right, listen, old _friend_," Kara says to Imra with bitter sarcasm. "I may not have superpowers here, and I certainly do not want to fight you over my own husband, but I swear to Rao that you and I are gonna throw _down_ pretty soon if you don't stop..._touching_ him!"

"He didn't seem bothered," Imra shrugs, though she does her apparent frenemy the courtesy of stepping back from the Daxamite.

"Okay, enough," Kara says. "Imra, we're friends! What…I mean, what the _hell_?"

"I don't know, Kara, all I know is that you and your...drama...pulled me from my life and dumped me here. By myself."

"By yourself? What do you mean? There are nine of us…"

"No, there are eight, plus me. Eight of _your_ people, from _your_ time. Because it all revolves around _you_, as usual."

"Me?!"

"Yes! You! Ever since the day I met _this_ one," she points accusingly at Mon-El. "My whole damn life's been Kara this, Kara that, Kara, Kara, KARA. Just once I wish someone would make some big to-do about _me_."

Kara and Mon-El gape at her, both baffled and appalled. The two impulses war for primacy as they turn to stare at each other.

Imra, for her part, seems to be enjoying rendering them speechless. She smiles with an unmistakable look of satisfaction.

"What, are you expecting some kind of apology from me?" Kara finally says, staring the raven-haired woman glaring at her with arms crossed.

"You know, it might be nice, actually. After everything we've been through."

"Exactly! We were like _sisters_ in the 31st century! There was never pettiness or jealousy between us. We didn't always agree, but we didn't _fight_! Not once!"

"Why bother? Even before you showed up in our time, you were always in charge. I lived in your damn _shadow_!"

"When_ I_ showed up?" Kara argues. "I seem to recall _you_ being the one who popped up in _my_ city, in _my_ time. I don't understand why you're acting like this!"

Imra, still red in the face, stops and sports an odd look, cocking her head first at Kara, then at Mon-El. "I...don't _know_...exactly. I just can't shake this feeling that...that you _took_ him from me. Which I know doesn't make any sense. I mean, it's not as though…"

"...Right, I mean you were never even together in this timeline," Kara interjects, having resorted in her frustration to pacing back and forth between her two friends.

"Exactly, I…wait, what do you mean 'in _this_ timeline?'"

Kara stops short, and she and Mon-El look up at Imra, eyes wide.

"Nothing!" Kara panics. "It's just...uhhh…we sort of...well, we kind of a little bit...prevented a massive meteor from hitting Earth and..."

Imra's demeanor turns on a dime. Her face goes beet red, and she points a finger angrily at Kara. "I _knew_ it!!" she cries. "You changed something! You mucked with time and altered all our lives, _didn't_ you?!"

"Whoa!" Mon-El chimes in. "You're one to talk! You dragged me back to the 21st century just to save your sister! We prevented a global cataclysm and saved the whole world!"

"And you risked the future in the process! My life, my sister, the Legion, the peace we built, _everything_! What if something even worse happened because of you? What if none of us were ever born? What if Brainiac had won?"

"Well, you're still here, aren't you? In fact, the 31st century you came from ended up being better than the original! So you're _welcome_!" Mon-El argues.

"You couldn't _possibly_ have known that would happen!" she swipes back.

"It was a literal extinction event! What were we supposed to do, let most of humanity, and countless other life forms _die_?!" Kara yells.

"You were supposed to be a hero! _Both_ of you were! Gods, I can't even _look_ at the two of you! Sprock!" The Saturnian turns in a huff towards the far end of the beach.

"Well, back at ya, sister!" Mon-El gruffly calls after her.

"And if I ever get back to my time, do you know what I'm going to do?" she sneers over her shoulder.

"Oh, _what_? Go ahead, tell me what you're gonna do, huh? Levitate some coconuts at me? Ooohhh…I'm _scared_." Kara's words drip with uncharacteristic sarcasm.

Imra stops, looking more or less like a volcano that's about to erupt. She turns toward them, bursting at the seams with frustration, and finally blurts: "...First disruption I find, I'm going to come back to before either of you were born and...and…bloody save Krypton! _That's_ what!"

She shoots them a rather creepy smile, then stalks off.

"..._What?!_" the baffled alien couple says in unison, as they watch her go.

"You _heard_ me!" they hear, faintly, as she grows smaller and smaller against the beach and the fading light.

A strangled noise emanates from Kara at this, something between a grunt and a full on scream.

Coming down, slowly, from his near-rage, Mon-El turns slowly toward his wife. "Hey, Kara?" he whispers.

"WHAT?!" she doesn't whisper back.

"Are you...you know, putting on a show right now? Like we talked about?"

"Nope."

"Yeah...me, neither." He gazes at her face, screwed into a fiery visage that's entirely incongruous with her soft, youthful features, and looking like she's desperately trying to muster just a little bit of heat vision so she can fry Imra to a crisp from afar.

Suddenly nervous, he attempts to take her hand. "Hey...look, I'm sorry about punching Oliver and running off, I guess even after all these years, I still get a little insecure when it comes to you and other guys, you know? Obviously I know you would never...it's just...I mean you're...you know, _you_, and you're so beautiful and desirable and part of me has never really totally accepted that I actually deserve you, and…"

"Come on, baby!" she growls, barely listening. She grabs his hand and turns to stalk up the beach the other direction.

The Daxamite knits his eyebrows together as he trails her. "Where are we going?"

"We're going to have _sex_, that's where!"

His eyes go wide, and an excited, triumphant smile spreads across his face. "YES!!" he fist-pumps, before happily pulling ahead and practically yanking her up the beach in search of a spot to be alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dokhahsh Kael best I can tell means demon girl in kryptonian. 
> 
> None of the translators have curse words lol.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's prom night on the island of misfit heroes!

The stars emerging in the twilight. The scent of hibiscus wafting in on the warm breeze. The sound of the ocean lulling them as they doze in a large, warm feather bed. It would have been a perfect moment, if not for the sudden, piecing jolt of Kara screaming.

"Oh, Christ, are you guys freaking kidding me?" Barry groans, covering his eyes, and deeply regretting his decision to come looking for his two alien friends.

"Calm down, Barry, we're finished. Close call, though. Be real glad you didn't show up 5 minutes ago or you would have caught _quite_ a show."

"Mon-El! Shut up!" Kara screeches from under a thin white sheet she's desperately trying to cover herself with, as her husband sits up and scoots toward the edge of the bed to find his clothes.

"Dude...I really coulda gone my whole, _very_ long life without seeing that," the speedster groans, sitting down on the top step up to the treehouse bungalow the Kryptonian and Daxamite materialized together to give them somewhere appropriate for a quick (well, not _too_ quick) marital rendezvous.

"Oh, come _on_, both of you. We're all adults. So to speak," Mon-El points out.

"She's like my _sister_, man!"

"You _married_ your sister," Mon-El, still naked, but putting his feet on the floor to start putting on his swim trunks, chuckles at his old friend.

"Hey! Uncool!"

"Sorry, dude," Mon-El raises one hand diplomatically, which has the unfortunate side effect of causing him to drop the corner of the sheet that's been covering him, resulting in a slight case of indecent exposure.

"You can make it up to me by putting your damn clothes on, for Christ's sake!" Barry cries and shields his face once again, with yet more regret at making the mistake of assuming they were decent already.

"Hey!" Mon-El lights up, so suddenly that Kara can practically see the bulb clicking on over his head. "You know what? We should have a prob!"

"A prob?" Kara wonders.

"Yeah, one of those dance things the young people go to on Earth. Where you said you broke that guy's toes."

"You mean a prom?"

"Yeah, that's what I said."

"You know very well what a prom is, all our kids went to at least one."

"Oh. Right. Well, _we_ haven't. And since we're all...you know…I mean, what do you say?"

"What about Imra?"

"What _about_ her? She's being a brat and a hypocrite. She'll come back when she's done pouting. And right now, I wanna take care of the girl I love. Come on, let's get all dressed up, drink, and I'll try not to get you pregnant behind the gym, huh?"

His joke doesn't land, but Kara and Barry look at each other, shrug, and before they know it, they're walking down a red carpet toward a candlelit open-air ballroom complete with a dance floor, karaoke machine, and the obligatory disco ball floating overhead.

The others grudgingly play along, except Imra and Oliver, who are still conspicuously absent.

Kara dreams herself up a white dress with flowy sleeves, not far off from what she might have worn to her coming of age ceremony on Krypton. Though when she sees her husband's flirty smile at her, she blushes a little and decides to tease him by deepening the neckline. Alex goes for black mermaid which matches Lena's lace, almost Victorian bustier style. James manages a black suit which somehow doesn't quite fit him, despite being magically created. Winn, lacking a date, ends up in a tee shirt with the image of a tuxedo and cummerbund on the front. He seems happy enough to be here, but Kara secretly wonders if he wishes his own wife, Eve, were with them--or, if like Ollie and Barry he's content to be flying solo in this bizarre episode in their lives. Or afterlives, as it were.

Pop song after pop song blares through the speakers at their makeshift venue, as they pile onto the dance floor. Alex has a surprising array of dance moves she seems to be showing off, to Kara's mild shock. This isn't quite the sister she remembers, who eschewed lame school functions like this in favor of watching horror movies at home, or on one occasion getting high with some friends behind the bleachers.

When the slow dances start creeping in, leaving the two couples present on the dance floor by themselves swaying back and forth to "Wicked Game," Alex finally finds herself drunk enough to make her move, and hands her rocks glass over to Winn as she stumbles her way over to James and Lena.

"May I cut in?" she asks with a somewhat goofy smile on her face. James smiles and nods, and goes to take her hand. To his surprise, she grabs Lena around the waist and drags her to a dark corner, giggling along the way. James looks over in surprise as he sees Alex whisper something in Lena's ear.

He turns to Winn and Barry, dumbfounded. "Is she...hitting on my wife?"

Alex says something funny just then and Lena laughs out loud, then stifles it, as though thinking better of the situation. Out of nowhere, she appears to produce a cigarette and lights it, puffing away to James' visible shock.

Barry makes a half-hearted attempt to talk James into putting his dander back down, even steering him away and back toward the bar. "I mean...I'm sure she's not…cause that would be super weird and they've been friends for such a long time and…"

_SPLASH_.

The sound is unmistakable. It's the distinct noise created by a drink being thrown in someone else's face. Specifically, a dry martini with three olives. The young men standing on the sidelines turn back toward the two females who have now become the center of attention. Kara and Mon-El, who until this second had been dreamily looking into each other's eyes while slow dancing in the moonlight, are standing slack-jawed watching the scene.

"I can't _believe_ you, Alex!" Lena nearly shrieks.

"What? Wh...what'd I do?" the other woman sputters.

"You smelled my hair!"

"Wh...what? No! I was just…"

"Okay, _enough_. You're being totally weird. You have been all day, and I've been trying to ignore it because, you know, _everything_ happening right now is weird, but Alex…I'm still with James, you get that, right?"

"Of course I do, it's only that we're here and I…"

"And you further understand I'm not attracted to women, right? I mean, you're lovely and all, but…"

"You bit your lip!" Alex yells.

"I what?" Lena blinks in confusion.

"You bit your lip! Like you do at James all the time!"

"So? I've been known to bite my lip at my elderly doorman, too. It doesn't mean I want to _sleep_ with him."

"But…"

"You know what? Fuck this…" Lena trots off, leaving the dance floor and heading back into the jungle.

"Baby, wait!" James chases after his wife, with a quick pause to shoot Alex a dirty look over his shoulder.

Left in the wake of the spectacle are one Kryptonian, one Daxamite, a speedster and two humans, one of whom is now beet red.

"Hold on…" Winn starts, doing the math of what just happened. "Did she conjure up a drink just so she could throw it in your face?"

"...I'm sorry, she just…with all that makeup she looked just like Sabrina Baker, my 10th grade chem lab partner, and I...I had _such_ a huge crush on her, not that I really understood it at the time but I just...I thought…" Alex bursts into tears and runs off, in the general direction of the beach.

"Alex!" Kara yells, running after her. Unfortunately, after a few steps, Kara trips on her high heels and tumbles down onto the dance floor.

"Baby! Are you okay?" Mon-El asks, coming to her aid.

"Ow. Not really, I twisted my ankle. Serves me right for imagining myself in stiletto heels, I guess. But...she shouldn't be alone, someone needs to…"

"_I'll_ go after Alex," Winn reassures.

"Thanks, man," Mon-El says as their friend nods and departs. "All right, come on." He hoists his wife into his arms and starts walking back toward the hotel they all dreamed up together, as Barry trails behind.

"Where are we going?" she wonders.

"This...whatever we're all doing, just dicking around having fun, waiting for something to happen? Yeah, it's not working. We all keep getting into fights and storming off. We need to get everyone back together and formulate some kind of plan."

"Plan for what?"

"Well, to stop everyone acting like a bunch of stupid kids, for one thing. And for another...to sort out what to do about...you know…"

"...Getting home…"

"...Right. I'm sorry to be a downer, but…"

"...I know. You're right, we don't belong here. None of us do. It's just…"

"...You haven't had enough time with Alex yet. And...going back means…"

"It means they'll be gone. Forever." Tears spring from her eyes, as her husband's grip on her body tightens.

"Well…what do you want to do?" he asks.

Kara lets out a heavy, grief-filled sigh. "We have to get Mxyzptlyk here and figure out why he's doing this."

"I think I can handle that." The Daxamite nods decisively.

"Dude, how are you gonna...?" Barry inquires.

"Well, I know the guy isn't one to shy away from a fight."

"Oh, Rao…" Kara covers her face with her hands. "Not again…"


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mon-El prepares for confrontation. 
> 
> Ohhh, and there WILL be confrontation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So just to be clear if you haven't read my other stories, i did one where Kara and Mon had to save the Earth from the extinction event they referenced in s3, the one that would take place in 400 years. 
> 
> They agonized over the decision since the consequences were unknown but eventually they decided they couldn't sit idly by. 
> 
> Just fyi as you read.

"Do you really have to wear that?" Barry inquires, as he gazes at Mon-El, clad in a colonial-era jacket, over breeches and a waistcoat, white cravat prominently protruding from just below his Adam's apple. They're back on the patio at the palatial tropical hotel, which makes his appearance seem all the more incongruous to what's going on. 

"Well, this is what I wore last time I fought him."

"Mon-El, does nothing about this plan strike you as...you know, idiotic?" Kara sighs, rubbing the bridge of her nose while sitting on a bench, rubbing her swollen ankle. 

"Well, we gotta do _something_. Do you have a better idea?"

"I mean, I guess I could…" Kara ponders, before cupping her hands around her mouth like a megaphone. "Mxyzptlyk! Get your ethereal ass down here!"

"Call him a smug, grandstanding dandy!" Mon-El suggests.

"What?"

"Just try it. Oh, and tell him he still has a rat face!"

"I…" she starts. "I don't…"

"No need to bother, darling," a familiar voice chimes in, emerging from the nearby jungle. "If you want me, you only ever need ask. And we both know somewhere, deep down, you _do_ want me. At least a bit."

"Ugh. Mxy, _enough_," she groans.

"What? I said a _bit_."

"Okay, can you just please tell us what we're all doing here?"

"Again?"

"Huh?"

"Are you having memory loss in your old age? I already went through this with you lot."

"All you said was you were giving us a gift."

"Right, exactly. Here you all are, young and beautiful, together in paradise with anything you could possibly want just a snap of the fingers away. And I haven't yet heard a 'you're welcome,' by the way."

"...Are you honestly trying to tell you have _no_ ulterior motive here?"

"None."

"Oh, bullshit," Mon-El interjects. "Come on, imp. Out with it. Is this just you getting your kicks out of watching us all fight, or are you distracting us from something?"

"By giving you time with your sister and all your stupid friends? You know, if all I wanted was you three out of the way I could have just opened a portal and stranded you on Tattooine or something." He cocks his head to one side, and crosses his arms over his chest.

"That's not a real place," Barry mutters.

"Oh, _isn't_ it?" Mxy waggles his eyebrows at them, leaving the speedster rubbing his temples and Mon-El exhaling in frustration.

"Wait...you're serious?" Kara deadpans, since it's not a question.

"Deadly. Well, not _deadly_ deadly."

"And...all of us fighting constantly?" Barry wonders.

"Highly entertaining, but not my..._specific_ intent."

"But...why? Why would you _do_ all this?" Kara asks.

Mxy shrugs. "Do you really think I'm incapable of trying to do something decent every once in a while? I thought you were all about seeing the good in everyone."

"...For real?"

The imp rolls his eyes and turns to walk away.

"I…all right, fine," Kara gives in, grabbing his shoulder to draw him back. "I believe you. But...so does this mean if I ask you'll just...send us home?"

"Sure thing, love. All I have to do is snap my…" he raises his hand in the air, thumb and pointer finger pressed together.

"NO! No...not just yet. I need..._we_ need to get everyone back together, you know? Make things right before we leave."

"Your call, Blondie," he shrugs. "Just give a ring, and let me know when you…"

"...Wait…before you pop out again, can I...have my powers back?"

Mxy wags his head left to right as though considering this.

"Done," he finally says. "What now?" He rubs his hands together as though intrigued by the situation and prepping himself to spring into action.

"Now, we round up the troops." Kara exhales, shaking her now-healed ankle, and begins scanning the isle with her super eyes and ears.

"What about _us_?" Mon-El stands there, palms up, looking at Mxy expectantly.

"What _about_ you?"

"Can Barry and I have our powers back as well?"

"Sorry, can't hear you, you're breaking up," Mxy starts backing away into the trees.

"...Mxy, no one's owned a cell phone in hundreds of years…" Mon-El sighs.

"Nope, it's no good, try again later…"

"...aaaand he's gone…" Barry drawls as the trickster disappears.

"Shh...okay, I think I've found everyone," Kara stops them.

"What are they all doing?" her husband wonders.

"Uh, well," Kara starts, "Lena has made herself a dark bedroom and is lying around listening to Morrissey...I think. Or maybe Joy Division. Winn is trying to mediate between James and Alex, who are...well, let's just say the words 'dickhole' and 'homewrecking see-you-next-tuesday' have been bandied about, and Imra and Oliver are…oh, my God!"

"What?"

"Um…they're sort of…kissing on the beach…"

"...Wow…did NOT see that coming." Mon-El's jaw drops open slightly.

"Uh...okay...well, what do we do _now_?" Barry wonders.

But instead of answering, Kara speeds off. In the blink of an eye, all their friends are deposited unceremoniously around a large campfire that seems to have suddenly sprung up in a nearby fire pit. Imra and Oliver are still making out, while the others continue fighting, seemingly unaware they've been uprooted from their former locations. Lena, the last to arrive, is plunked down onto a bench, where she simply rolls her eyes and retrieves another cigarette from somewhere.

"You know what, James?" Alex slurs, clearly still feeling the liquid courage she'd Ben imbibing all evening. "I don't want to hear your bullshit. Okay? I don't want to hear about how rough you always had it being rich and powerful and famous and whatever."

"Whoa, guys, can we just cool it? I mean, we're all friends here, and…" Winn, looking exhausted, presses forward in what's clearly a losing battle to defuse the situation.

"_Me_?! You ran the fucking Defense Department! Don't act like you were so underprivileged…and don't get off subject! What kind of friend _are_ you? Going after my wife like that!"

"Plenty of _that_ going around," Mon-El snarks, crossing his arms over his chest while side-eying Oliver, who has finally pried himself away from Imra and is sitting up on the ground looking utterly bored.

"Hey, I was just minding my own business with...um…" he snaps his fingers repeatedly, and looks upwards.

"...Imra!" his former hookup partner scoffs, pushing him away and moving to storm off again, before being stopped by Kara.

"Oh, _no_ you don't. We're all gonna stay right here until we work out all our...you know..._stuff_…" the Kryptonian says, gesturing with her hands as she shoots the Saturnian back toward their circle and eliciting an eye roll from the raven haired woman.

Imra huffs, turning to Oliver. "I wasn't going to have sex with you anyway, you know. I don't actually enjoy that sort of thing."

"What, really?!" Oliver practically whines.

"Okay, you know what, Arrow boy? How about you just keep it in your pants for five minutes, how's that?" Kara attempts to mediate, to her friend's visible annoyance.

"And as for everyone else, look, I think our host may have gotten slightly carried away with whatever magic is making us feel like kids again. None of us are acting like ourselves, so just please, focus on the fact that we all care about each other and try and ignore whatever…all _this_ is?"

"I think that's a good idea," Barry says. "Look, why doesn't everyone just...say whatever is bothering them most right now, and then we'll all apologize and make up, sound good?"

"Fine, you know what? I'll go first," Winn says, to everyone's surprise. "You guys have ALWAYS taken me for granted! I've given _so much_ to all of you, often with barely even a thank you, and guess what? Here I am, dragged back into you the middle of your weird nonsense yet again and OH MY GOD...I'm…I'm sorry, I have no idea where that came from, I didn't mean to..."

Kara, when she finds her voice at last, croaks out "...Winn…it's okay. You're right, you've always given so much of yourself, been so dedicated to us, built your life around helping us. And we haven't appreciated you enough."

"I know, but…I'm grateful, too. I had a good life. A meaningful life. One I...wouldn't have had, if not for you guys. And...I don't know why I just...snapped like that…" he drifts off, a look of disturbance on his face.

"Whoa, hold up," Kara stops him. "I know where this is going. You lived a long life, and you never became your Father. And we're all experiencing weird effects from this...whole crazy experience. So can we just...table that, maybe? For now? Until we deal with, you know, everything?"

"Yeah. Sure," he exhales, shuffling his feet and putting his hands in his pockets.

"Okay, uh...James?" she prompts.

"I just want a damn _apology_!" he turns back to Alex.

"Fine," Alex rolls her eyes. "I'm sorry I smelled your wife's hair or whatever."

James huffs audibly. "You know what, Alex? This isn't even really about me, or Lena. It's about you being an alcoholic. You always were, and sure, maybe you managed it okay and none of us ever said anything, but we _should_ have."

"Wh...WHAT?!" Alex stammers. "That's...that's crazy. You're out of your mind. I never…"

"...Used alcohol to cope with your problems?" Mon-El interjects. "Because you know what, I'm with James. I never said boo back then, but I seem to recall you giving me a hard time drinking at the bar when I was upset and had just recently lost an entire _planet_, even though you thought nothing of being sloppy drunk at Thanksgiving…"

"...Are you _serious_? I was trying to come out to my mom, I needed some liquid courage!"

"No, they're right, Alex, what about when Jeremiah came back? Or when you and Maggie broke up? Or Winn and Eve's wedding? Or…"

"Okay! I get the gist. God, do you _all_ think this?"

Their collective mumbled assent nearly floors her.

"Well…why didn't you _say_ something? When I was alive?"

"We should have. It's true. And maybe there's nothing to be done about it now, so I think we all probably need to apologize for that as well," Kara says.

"Okay... well, I'm sorry...if my drinking affected you. I guess there's not much point in doing twelve steps now, but for what it's worth...I wish I could have done things better."

"Speaking of alcohol, who's got some?" Oliver shakes the empty bottle in his hand and tosses it into the fire pit.

"Oh, don't get me started on you," Kara scolds. "You gross, inconsiderate frat boy!"

"Yeah!" Mon-El chimes in. "What she said!"

"I got this, baby."

The Daxamite clams up and gives her a double thumbs up.

"All right, fine!" Oliver groans. "Look, I'm sorry, I'm clearly not handling this all that well and...you know, it's not like being stuck on desert islands brings up a lot of happy memories for me, okay? And none of my family is here, my wife and kids, they're all dead and I just…"

He turns away, unable to continue, but Kara knows if she could see his face right now there'd be tears streaming from his eyes, including the one that's still black from the punch he'd taken earlier.

"Oliver, I'm sorry...for all this…" Kara croaks.

"I know, and I know it's not your fault. And I'll...I'll try to behave myself."

"...Try?"

"Yes, for fuck's _sake_, Kara, I will make a concerted effort to be more...respectful or whatever."

Kara sighs heavily. "All right, who's next?"

"How about _you_?" Alex shrugs, the barest hint of sharpness in her tone.

"_Me_? What _about_ me?"

"How about you've barely even _talked_ to me? You, know, me? Alex Danvers? The sister who you haven't seen alive in hundreds of years?"

"What? _You're_ the one that's been avoiding _me_!"

"Only because you were avoiding me first!"

"I was _not_!"

"Oh, please. First you're off with Barry, then you're smooching Oliver, then you're off banging your husband that you see all the goddamn time!"

"Wh...what? How did you…?"

"...Um, you may look sixteen but I still know your dopey 'Yay I just got laid' face when I see it. That goes for both of you."

"Alex!"

"What? Look me in the eye and tell me I'm wrong!"

"That's not the point!"

"Well, what _is_ your point, then?"

"My point is...that...  
you're...what the hell is your _problem_, Alex?"

"My problem is you REPLACED ME!"

"What? What are you even _talking_ about?"

"I knew...I knew it even before I died. That he'd...that he'd be your person after I was gone. But I didn't expect you to just...forget me!"

"I didn't _forget_ you! How the hell could you possibly think that?!"

"Because he's the first person you went to. When we got here, I watched you. You hung back with him, sat at the bar with him..._confided_ in him."

"Who?"

"_Barry_, for God's sake! And I _get_ it, okay? I do. He's gotten to live a long ass time, and become part of your family, I just...I'm jealous, okay? That he's gotten to be there for you in a way I never could."

"And that's why you've been snarky to me all day? Why didn't you just _talk_ to me?"

"I don't know…it's weird being this young, I guess I still have all these...resentments bubbling around, like I did when we were kids. It's all very...confusing. And...you guys could, maybe, possibly be right that the alcohol is...not exactly doing me any favors."

"I'm sorry, can you repeat that last part? About me being right?" Kara cups the shell of her ear with one hand mockingly.

"I said MAYBE."

"...Alex, you know that in a million years no one could replace you in my heart. Not ever. But you may also recall I have a pretty big heart. So you'll forgive me if there's room for other people in there, too?"

"I know. And I'm sorry." They embrace warmly, eyes welling up to the sound of a small murmured chorus of awwwing from the assemblage.

All except one person.

"Well, so, is that everybody?"

"Not quite," Mon-El nods his head in Imra's direction. For her part, the Saturnian continues to stare icily at her former Legion-mates, arms crossed over her chest.

"I guess you're still pissed, then?" Kara groans, a note of fatigue seeping in.

"That you risked the lives of everyone I care about and the future I spent my life building? Yes. I'm still ever so slightly 'pissed' about that."

"We didn't have a choice, Imra."

"The hell you didn't! You could have bloody _asked_ at least!"

"We were at a precarious place in the timeline. We didn't know if it would work, and…"

"...And what if we said _no_, hmm? What if we said it was too great a risk? What would you have done then?"

Kara and Mon-El stare at her, guilt etched across their faces.

"Exactly. You would have done it anyway. Never mind what anyone else thinks. You've always been this way. 'We know best, we get to decide right from wrong, and everyone better toe the damn line.'"

"Imra…" Mon-El starts.

"You know what? It doesn't matter. None of this will matter soon enough. Now get that magic whatever he is back here and make him send us home so I can complete my new mission."

"Mission?" Kara starts crinkling. "_What_ mission?"

"I told you. I'm going to save Krypton. I can find a disruption, go back and use the nanotechnology we created in the future to stabilize the core."

"Are you _serious_?!" Mon-El yells. "But if you did that then…"

"I'll never have to have met _either_ of you imbeciles! And you'll never have met each other, and broken your stupid hearts losing each other. Nor will you have suffered the destruction. Both your planets will be safe and sound! You should _thank_ me!"

"But...the Legion!" The Daxamite croaks, with growing panic. "And...the Earth! All the work all of us have done, the sacrifices we've made...our _children_!"

"You'll never know they existed. You'll have _other_ children instead. With other people."

"You can't _possibly_ think this is a good idea," Kara attempts to argue.

"Why not? You saved _one_ planet doing what you did. I'd be saving two! It's simple math, really."

"It's not simple and you _know_ that!" the Daxamite protests.

"Simple enough for me. Missus...spittle...luck!" she calls out. "Whatever your damn name is!"

"What are you doing?" Kara wonders.

"Summoning that...Maxi...person. The one who brought us here. What's his bloody name again?"

Kara's eyes go wide. "No one tell her!"

She's too late, though, as Lena mumbles "Mxyzptlyk" under her breath.

"Lena!"

"What?" the raven-headed former heiress looks up from drawings pentagrams and skulls in the dirt with a stick. Kara notices she's now wearing black head to toe ,save a dark red flannel shirt.

"Are you even paying _attention_ to what's going on?" Kara wonders aloud.

"Whatever," Lena shrugs, taking a drag of her cigarette.

"Wow. Really leaning into the whole Robin Daggers thing, huh?" James notes from the sidelines.

But Lena barely has time to roll her eyes before the imp materializes in their midst.

"You rang?" He looks back and forth between Kara and Imra with mock innocence.

"Yes, hello...Mister...whoever," Imra addresses him. "I'd like to propose an arrangement."

Mxy cocks his head and regards the Saturnian with bemused surprise, a sly smile creeping up one side of his face.

"I'm listening…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Robin Daggers is from How I Met Your Mother. It's a pretty funny companion bit to Robin Sparkles, recommend YouTubing that if you haven't seen.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things come to a head.

"Nope!" Kara attempts to intervene. "We are _not_ doing this."

"Doing what?" Mxy smiles sweetly at her, which only serves to creep her out.

"Negotiating over the fate of our _family_!" Mon-El pipes in.

"Well, no harm in hearing the lady out, is there? What do you propose, darling?"

"Take me home and help me find a time disruption, and I'll...owe you a favor."

"What kind of favor? And let's be clear…I'm a married man. And, well, the wife keeps me on a short leash. I'm comfortable enough in my masculinity to admit that much. Though I have managed a few workarounds here and there…" He taps his chin in nostalgic recollection.

"...I have powers."

"Telekinesis? No offense, but I can move anything anywhere I want."

"Only if you haven't been banished. It takes time for you to return once you've said your name backwards, doesn't it?"

"Yes, I suppose that..._does_ happen a bit more often than I'd like. And you'll, what, fill in for me if, hypothetically, I wanted to take revenge on anyone who's crossed me and can't be there in person, is that it?"

"Hypothetically…"

"Well, that's quite a tempting offer. You lot have anything to counter it, Supey baby?"

Kara balks, eyes wide like saucers. "Counter? Wh…no! This is insane! Imra, you _love_ our kids! And us! How could you even _think_ about doing this?"

"I have people, too, Kara! And maybe they'd be better off if I'd never _met_ any of you! My sister would never have died from the blight in the first place, and I would have had a normal life on Titan with my family!"

"Imra, this is just...the weird magic talking. I _know_ this isn't what you want!"

"And who the _hell_ are you to tell me what I want? I'm sick of you always being in control! I'm tired of the two of you determining the course of my life! It's _my_ turn!"

"I'll duel you for it!" Mon-El shouts, to everyone's shock. "I...I challenge you to Dakkam-Ur…and hey, I'm already dressed for it and everything." He looks down at the absurd period apparel he's still sporting, and approaches his sort-of former spouse.

"Mon-El! His current wife cries, from behind him. "What the _hell_ are you doing?!"

"Just...trust me," he whispers over his shoulder at her.

"I don't want to fight you, Mon-El," Imra sighs heavily. "I just want everything fixed."

"Fixed the way _you_ want it," he clarifies.

"That's right. I'm quite certain I can do a better job than you lot."

"So...fine. If I win, you stop this nonsense. And if you win, you have our blessing to do whatever you want."

"Mon-El!" Kara practically screeches, as a cacophony of protests arises from the peanut gallery. After all, the course of all their lives would have been very different if Kara and Mon-El had never been in the picture. Winn and James would never have met their spouses, Barry wouldn't have become part of their family, not to mention saved the world quite a few times, and Alex...obviously.

As they argue, Kara looks at her husband, who winks with a quick, knowing smile.

_Ah_…

"Guys, I think we should see this through," the blonde argues, catching on. 

"Are you _nuts_?" Alex fires back. "You can't let her just destroy the lives we all built!"

"I accept!" Imra says triumphantly. "So...how does this work?"

Mon-El conjures a sword, and suddenly they all find themselves gathered around a circular fighting ring, Imra and Mon-El in the center. He produces a second blade, and tosses it to her. She awkwardly catches it, then holds it out with one hand with an air of distaste, as though it's a piece of trash retrieved from the dumpster. 

"What am I supposed to..." she starts.

"You accepted my terms, I choose weapons."

"Oh, for heaven's sake, Mon-El..." 

"...Let's begin, then. En garde!" Daxamite raises his weapon and wastes no time slashing and lunging.

Imra counters his initial assault, but barely_._ His second knocks her on her ass with enough force that she struggles to pick herself up._ "_Well, that's not fair! I don't know how to sword fight!" she complains. 

"Would you rather we use our powers?" Mon-El inquires.

"Yes!" she heartily agrees. "Mixes-man, will you please give us both our powers back, so I can finish this?"

"All right," the trickster shrugs. "You asked for it."

There's a quick flash of light, and suddenly, much older versions of the Saturnian and Daxamite stand before them. Grown up versions.

"Wh...what happened?" Imra says, looking down at herself.

"Your powers didn't manifest until you were an adult, just like mine," Mon-El says matter-of-factly. "You wanted your telekinesis, you got it. And everything that goes with it."

"Oh…oh, my God…I'm so sorry...I can't believe I...I almost…oh, _God_!" She bursts into tears, as Kara steps forward and wraps her arms around her friend. Over Imra's shoulder, Kara addresses the imp.

"Mxy, can we please _all_ be grown ups?"

"I suppose," he says, waving a hand broadly as though deathly bored with the proceedings.

There's a sigh of general relief when they're all more...themselves again.

"Can you ever forgive me?" Imra whimpers into Kara's hair.

"Of course. I know that wasn't really you, the Kryptonian pats her back gently.

"Actually, it sort of _was_," Mon-El clarifies. "That's how I knew my duel plan would work. Your sister spent a lot of time during our Legion days bemoaning what a bossy, spoiled brat you were when you were young. But I knew the grown up version of you would feel differently."

"And, despite everything," Kara says. "You may have had a point about us, taking it upon ourselves to decide what's best for everyone. Maybe that's something we should work on."

"Well, now that we're actually legal drinking age again, do you guys want to, I dunno, sit around and relax for a bit while we're not all at each others' throats?" Winn proposes.

Kara releases Imra, whose emotions now seem under control, and approaches the 5th dimension being.

"Would that...be all right?" she asks him.

"I told you, this is your show, darling. And for the record, I wouldn't have actually let her ruin all your lives. Besides, I went to an awful lot of trouble helping the two of you so your ridiculous family could do all its hero business. I wasn't keen on erasing all that. Not to mention the bloke with the pocket square would have my damn head…" he scratches said cranium with what appears to be uncharacteristic nervousness.

"Wait, you weren't going to go through with it? Then why…"

"Trickster, my dear. It's what we DO."

Kara can't help but chuckle wearily at that, though her husband and friends look less amused.

"Look, to make it up to you, how about we make this an annual event, shall we? And I can add in whoever you want. Family, friends, you name it."

"What, _seriously_?" Kara's eyes practically bug out of her head.

"Why not? We're...sort of friends...aren't we? I mean…" he drags one foot in the dirt and looks down at his feet, almost sheepishly.

"Yeah...I guess we are. Why don't you join us?" Kara asks, extending her hand.

"That might be nice," he responds with fondness, joining the circle.

"Hey!" Lena suddenly cries out, looking at herself in a hand mirror she's apparently conjured up, and studying the black and white makeup and hair she still dons, despite the rest of her now being in her twenties. Complete with a fashionable dark blue pantsuit and white blouse. "Why do I still look like a goddamn _vampire_?!"

"Actually, on second thought…" Mxyzptlyk flashes a mischievous smile before disappearing.

Kara takes one look at her goth-bedecked friend and bursts out laughing. "Sorry, Lena…let's get you a drink, huh?" she snickers.

"Or five…" the Luthor groans.

Kara produces glasses of champagne for everyone, with sparkling cider for Alex, and makes a toast.

"To family," she exhales. "No matter where or when we are, or what brings us together, love bonds is all…" they clink glasses happily and exchange embraces.

Mon-El continues. "And, much as I hate to say it, here's to Mxy. He, uh...makes life interesting, I suppose."

Kara groans and rolls her shoulders in an attempt to shake off the stress of the last few hours. "Although I for one wouldn't mind a little boring tonight, huh? Now, who's up for some board games!"

"Can I opt to be dead again?" Oliver mutters under his breath.

Kara side-eyes him. "I heard that, Queen…"

"Well, yeah, obviously…"

"Just for that, we're playing Monopoly, and you have to be the thimble," Mon-El says. "And prepare for war, since I still haven't entirely forgiven you for hitting on my wife."

Oliver rolls his eyes, steps over to the large game table that's replaced the ring they'd recently been standing in, and resigns himself to an evening of watching his two alien friends clobber everyone at a game that revolves around fictional real estate.

Barry leans over and puts an arm around his old buddy. "Aren't you glad I brought these two into our lives?" he asks.

"I guess worse things have happened," he concedes. "There may have been a World War or two that caused slightly more calamity."

"But none that made such a cute couple," Barry bites his lower lip mockingly. "Admit it, you're glad the way things turned out. For them _and_ for us.

"I admit nothing. Now shut up and pass me the damn thimble before I shoot you in the back again."

"We can still hear you, you know," Mon-El sing-songs. 

"Yeah, well, I said it _loud, _didn't I?"

Barry chuckles and grabs their game pieces.

"For what it's worth," Oliver grudges after a long silence, "I _am_ happy you guys found each other. I'm glad we _all_ did. We've had good lives, and I think we all should be proud. Also, I didn't mean it when I said Mon wasn't good enough for you. To be honest, you both are kind of irritatingly perfect for each other."

Kara smiles, leaning over the table to kiss Oliver on the cheek.

"Jeez, get a room, you two," Mon-El snarks, as he passes out stacks of multicolored fake money. 

Kara's fist hitting his shoulder shuts him up. 

For the first time since they became grown-ups, Oliver cracks a smile. "See? Perfectly matched."


End file.
